When You Know


This being Father’s Day weekend, this blog is dedicated to my husband. The best dad I could ever imagine for our son. I love you, baby. You are everything I have prayed for and so much more.

My best friend called me to tell me she was in town. She brought her roommate to New Mexico from Georgia with her. I was at a birthday party with my one-year old son, it was July, and it was hot. I was sweaty and I felt very unattractive, my son was throwing a tantrum because we skipped nap time, and I had no desire to meet someone new. But I left the party and fastened my crying toddler in his hot car seat, and we drove to her mother’s house.

I walked in with my flailing son on my hip, hair in a sweaty messy bun, greet my best friend and her daughter, and lock eyes with the man on the couch, who is now my husband.

Throughout the week, we all hang out at all the limited places our small town had offered, and my now husband had befriended me, asking if I would like to watch a movie with him which I had bailed on him minutes before he was supposed to come by. I could slap my past self now for that!

A couple days before they were supposed to go back to Georgia, we all went out for my best friends 21st birthday. Our parents babysat our kids and we went out for drinks in a town nearby. I hate to say that multiple drinks in me is what gave me the courage to kiss my future husband for the first time. We had a great time, my husband was a complete gentleman the whole night.

The next day, my husband asked me if he could come talk to me, I said yes and when he arrived he asked me if we could see where we could go. I remember my mouth getting ready to say no, because long distance didn’t seem reasonable to me. But I said yes. Like my heart answered for me. He smiled and he kissed me before he left. I had all the butterflies, and I was happy I said yes.

The next morning was when they had to leave for the airport. I took my son so we could say bye to my best friend and her daughter. My new boyfriend asked if I wanted him to hold my son while I said bye. I hesitantly put him in his arms, expecting a meltdown, which was usually what happened when someone new held him. My son fit in his arms like a puzzle piece. He didn’t cry, but smiled. My heart bursted. My son didn’t have a father, I wondered if he was it.

He was.

My son’s birthday was coming up in 2 months. My boyfriend promised me that he was going to be back for his birthday. I was used to broken promises, so I will be honest with you, I expected disappointment.

My husband did not disappoint. He came and he stayed for 2 weeks. My son and I fell so deeply in love with this man. All three of us in tears when it came time for him to leave.

Long distance was not hard, not with him. We filled our days with text messages, phone calls, and skype calls. And not too far into our relationship did we both decide this was it. We were a family. Our second visit together was in San Diego, where I went to meet his family by myself for a few days, and where the love of my life proposed to me. He flew back to New Mexico with me to see our son, who was calling him daddy at this point.

We married one week after his proposal, in a small office in my church. It was absolutely perfect. I packed up our life in New Mexico and moved to Georgia a couple months later.

Since then, our beautiful family only grew stronger each day. Our son wants to be all things that is of his dad. He lives for sword fights, tickle wars, and video games with his dad. Every day, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband, for my son’s daddy. I am so thankful to have such an amazing partner to do this parenting thing with. To do life with!

I want to close this blog to remind all single mamas to never settle.

The man of yours and your baby’s dreams is out there.

“When you know, you know” is such a cliché but so true. You deserve the kind of man who will love you and your baby like he has been there since the very beginning!


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