Much like Zelda, my son was also diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It is tough raising a child; it is also tough dealing with diabetes on a daily basis. When you put the two together it makes for a hard to handle and hard to swallow situation. The first thing any parent feels when their child is diagnosed with something like diabetes is
"Did I do enough? Was this my fault? What do I do?"
Short of being a diabetic yourself or having close family with diabetes, it’s something generally we are not prepared for. It’s a lifelong condition and it throws you into a pit of depression. Not only do I have to help my son learn how take care of himself, he now has to take care of his blood glucose for life. All those images of them grown up, what they would look like, what they did for a living, and what type of person they would become have been shattered. It’s not that this disease will change them, but everything you were so sure of has now changed. How will my son deal with this problem as he grows? Will the added challenges of life hinder him more thus stunting his success? Everything is back to unknown in an uncertain time.
As times goes on you will become that certain mother again your son needs. We all need to be confident and certain with our children. They feed off our emotions and guidance. While it seems like the pending end of the world, stability and certainty will return in time. Not everyone is a gleaming role model, and the ones that try to act like they are, are definitely lying through their teeth.
I felt as if he was so weak
I struggled with accepting the diagnosis, which was the hardest moment of motherhood to me. My once was perfectly healthy child is now one of the most fragile kids in his class, he can be taken out by uncounted carbs in the form of French fries. I felt as if he was so weak and reverted back to babying him because he was my everything and in his fragile state, I had to protect him from everything that would hurt him.
It is said if you love something let it go. As I become more comfortable with my son and diabetes, I released my grip on his life and watched him flourish again. It was not long until he was back to his normal self. While he is fragile, he is also resilient. Armed with his insulin, he can take on the world just as he was before he fell ill. Underneath it all, he is still the same son I had visions of grandeur for. He will rise, and overcome any challenges that lie on the road ahead. He cannot face his challenges alone though now, he needs his mother to be strong standing behind him.