When you become a mama you tend to lose yourself. You don't know who you are anymore behind the aprons, cleaning products, dirty laundry, and shopping lists. We tend to lose ourselves during major changes in our lives...motherhood, becoming a wife, or starting any new chapter she may begin to write.
We love these changes, but it can cause havoc on our identities.
I have been sitting with myself lately, trying to find the woman I used to be before I became a mother to my very sweet boy. I was confident and brave. Now I find myself second guessing my parenting skills and honesty afraid of life. Life is scary, you see that so clearly when you have a precious life you are now responsible for.
As I try to find her, I hear a gentle voice whisper to my weary soul,
“You will never find her. She is not available anymore. But you are not lost, you are being redefined.”
I am being redefined. I am not there yet, I am not who I will be years from now, but I will get there.
The woman I was before will never be accessible to me. Because she was not anything that I am today...a mother, a wife, a homemaker, a teacher, a caregiver, etc. And this woman I am now, is growing...becoming more.
So mama, if you feel lost...you are not alone. And you are not lost...you are being redefined, and you are becoming more. And that is beautiful.