I’d do it all again, for you

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As i've mentioned in previous posts, I thought I had everything going for me and everything quickly changed.  For the better of course.  My husband and I planned our son, Lennon and didn’t get pregnant right away.  The lucky day came and our little “turtle” showed up in the ultrasound!  Now I had a very miserable pregnancy. From moving to having the worst sciatica that I had to stop working.  I gained 70 plus pounds leaving me at a whopping 200 pounds.

  I never felt so freaking ugly and insecure in my entire life till I was pregnant.

  I always looked to Pinterest to do “Pregnancy workouts” to try to slow down the weight gain. I ate pretty healthy and took tons of healthy supplements for my little “turtle”.  I always wanted to look like those “belly only” pregnancy but well genetics weren’t in my favor and I gained everywhere that I got so many stretch marks.  

I missed my belly

After my son was born, It was like I was living in another persons body.  I missed my belly and I would cry because I felt so lonely and out of place.  Let me tell you this, I honestly did not have any sort of connection with my son when he was still in the womb. I thought it was strange to talk to my belly and I guess I can say I was a tad bit detached..  It took finally meeting my son to feel the love for him.  True love. 

Here we are

17 months and here we are.  Im still overweight, and my stretch marks are still there, and a saggy tummy that I will forever cherish.  I don’t want to be like anyone else but me.  As long as my son is healthy and happy I honestly do not give two shits on how I look.  I would do it all over again, even if I have to relive the same discomforts.  Why? Because creating a fucking human in NINE MONTHS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.  Im damn lucky and id do it again for you turtle. 

Hugs,

 

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